Sobz

It's raining heavily over at the east and with that I predict a heavy jam on my way back.
Completed my first paper and I have a day before my second and last paper of tp.

Everything is so overwhelming.
I realise I cannot handle negative emotions at all.
I really hate myself for reacting in this way but I really couldn't help it.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. Why, body, why?

I just hope I can last till my exam is over. Please do not collapse before it.

I am so tired.
So tired of feigning and smiling.
Why can't this feeling go away? This feeling is killing me.
I feel like killing myself (not literally).
I just feel so god damn horrible and miserable.
And I feel like crying every moment. Fts.

Because I know you are gone. Forever.
Can't you at least wait till exam is over?

I don't want to care about anything. I just want this feeling to be gone.
Why can't human be emotionless. And aloof.
Why must this happen? Why are there no explanation still? Why do I feel like you don't care? Why can't you come back?

If only there's a medicine to cause amnesia. Selective memory.
I don't want to live on this way. I don't want to feel pain.

What am I supposed to do..?